Why depression makes tasks like showering and brushing your teeth a challenge

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For people with depression, tasks that others deem simple can feel insurmountable. It can feel impossible to even get out of bed, let alone do the dishes or shower.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of the book, "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” says that even tasks that take less than five minutes can be huge obstacles. She says it sets off a discouraging cycle for the person affected.

“When we don't do them, we start to experience shame and it becomes really easy to push them off and not do those things that we know essentially are really important to our health,” Morin says.

But Morin notes there are small steps people can take to start overcoming depression symptoms.

What is happening in the brain when depression prevents people from starting or completing tasks?

“By nature alone, depression depletes our energy. So a lot of people will say, ‘I just seem so fatigued.’ And the thought of taking a shower would be the equivalent of somebody who feels well feeling like they suddenly had to run a marathon. It just feels like it's too much to do.

“At other times people will say it's more of a motivational issue. Like, ‘Yeah, I could probably brush my teeth, but getting up and doing that, I'll do it later.’ And then later never comes.

“Sometimes people will say me, ‘I have a lot of aches and pains.’ We know that mental health issues tend to cause stomach aches, headaches, backaches. People will say, ‘I've just experienced a lot of pain right now. So something like getting up and getting off the couch or doing the laundry feels like it's just too much for me to handle.’”

What about people who feel like they don’t matter enough to do those tasks for themselves?

“When people are battling with depression, they'll say, ‘Yeah, absolutely nothing matters. Life seems meaningless.' It can feel like if I do this one little thing, it's not going to change my life or anybody else's. So why should I bother?’

“But we know it takes an even bigger toll on people eventually when somebody says, ‘My house is a complete disaster and I don't have the energy to clean it.’ Well, then they might avoid letting anybody come over to their house. So then it starts to affect your relationships.

“If you aren't brushing your teeth, it might take a toll on your physical health because you're probably not taking care of eating and managing your diet as well.”

How can people make something like showering easier?

“Maybe say, ‘I'm just going to get in the shower and rinse myself off. And once I get in the shower and I turn the water on, if I feel like washing my hair, then I'll do it. Or I'll try to do one more step.’

“But don't force yourself to think you have to do all seven steps or nothing. Sometimes that helps people. Once they get up and they get moving, it's easier to stay moving. The hardest part is usually getting started though, but if you cut yourself some slack and say, ‘I'm just gonna get in the under the hot water for a few minutes and rinse myself off,’ That might seem a little bit more doable.

“Another thing can be to just set the timer and say, ‘I'm going to get in the shower for three minutes or five minutes, and I'll get as much done as I can during those five minutes. And then when the time's up, I give myself permission to step back out of the shower, unless I feel like I'm going to keep going.’

“Sometimes just breaking it down and just a really small step like that can be important. At other times, people will say, ‘I'll write myself a list of the top five reasons why I should get in the shower today, and my brain is going to try to talk me out of it. But if I at least read over this list, I might increase my motivation enough that I can start to take a couple steps toward the shower, read the list again if I have to, and talk myself into trying it just to see if it helps me to feel better.’”

How can people make home cleaning more manageable?

“Pick one small task at a time, like, can you clear off the kitchen table? Or can you set a timer for five minutes again and see how much you can clean in the kitchen in just five minutes?

“People will often say, ‘Once I start to clear out a little bit of the clutter — maybe I take the trash out, I get rid of a few things — I start to feel better. And that motivates me to keep going.’

“It's really important to break it down into a small task. Because if you feel like you have to clean the whole house, you probably aren't going to do it.”

Can doing these tasks help people feel less depressed?

“Physical activity and moving releases different hormones in our body and the feel-good chemicals in your brain. So the physical act of cleaning can be wonderful for depression, but also a sense of accomplishment.

“It might be something small, but just knowing, ‘I did this little thing today. Like I cleared off this section of my kitchen, or I threw away three bags of trash,’ makes us feel like, ‘I can make an impact,’ because depression will often cause us to feel like we're hopeless and we're helpless.

“When you do things that are contrary to that, it reminds you, ‘I can make a difference, and I do have choices that can make an impact.’

“If we looked at it similar to the way that we would tackle a physical health issue, if you were battling with obesity or you were dealing with really high blood pressure, you're not going to do anything so drastic that it gets better tomorrow or next week.

“You're going to take small steps. Again, it takes a while to get there. It's going to take a while to dig yourself back out.”